A Deeper Season
by CupofHotCocoa
Summary: Ever since she was 16 years old, Esme Anne Platt had entered a world full of unconditional love, hate, tragedy, and pain. This all happens after Esme fell in love with Carlisle Cullen while she's suppose to marry a man of her parent's choice. All hell soon breaks out, and Esme is stuck in the middle of it all as she tries to search for her safe haven. Carlisle/Esme.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey there fellow readers! This is my first Twilight fanfiction and notice that its based off of Esme Cullen's background story before she met Carlisle. SO! This shall be interesting :) Also when you guys finish this chapter, I would simply LOVE it if you guys left me some feedback. Please? It would make me super duper happy, and it'll make me smile a lot!**

 **Anyways! Too much talking and not enough reading- let's get to it!**

 **Oh, and Enjoy :)**

 **Disclaimer:** **I don't know Carlisle. I don't know Esme. I do not own either characters. I don't mean to cause harm, confusion or headaches. If either of these people this story is about would like to discuss future works, you know how to get in touch with me. Also, please don't sue me... I don't do well in jail, and I have no money. Void where prohibited.**

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 _Preface:_

I was always a girl who people looked at as a naive, incorrigible youngster who knew nothing in everything. They thought that I was much too sweet and happy to even look at the darkest shadows that haunt this world. I guess that's why they thought I was so optimistic, because I refused to look at the "other side." But little did they know that I was much smarter than that, and I was very much aware of the hidden secrets that lurked in the deepest parts of this planet. However, I was still young, and I had not yet learned everything. But I soon lived a story that taught me everything. It showed me how unfair this life can be, but it also shared that it is still worth living, no matter what type of hell you're put through. Now this story may be considered a tragedy, or a romance. Many people would look at it one-sidedly. But I look back and I still believe that this particular story has a spin on both; romantic and tragic.

This story of mine also showed me the impossible and the beauty within that impossibility. What should've killed me didn't. I'd witnessed death of something I barely knew but loved and cared for so deeply. I'd endured every painful impact of one's other hand, and every offense that was shot at me. Yet I carried on like a dead leaf drifting through the wind; forcefully and unwillingly.

Now here I am with the ability to tell you my forbidden story. And I will say that I am very much here but not quite alive. Confusing? It should be. But let's not ponder too much upon that topic as you will find out soon enough. This is my- being, Esme Anne Platt's- story of pain, hate, and unconditional love.

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 _"And emeralds from mountains, thrust towards the sky. Never Revealing their depth." -Edwin Maccain_

Chapter One

I lie on the hospital bed with my right leg bent at an awkward angle. I knew for a fact that it was hurting, but I was too numbed with medicine to even feel it anymore. I guess that was a good thing. It at least gave me time to read my book in peace while I waited for the doctor, whom, by the way, was taking an extremely long time to make his rounds to me.

The smell of latex gloves and medicines mixed together in the air and created the perfect headache-causing formula. I had never grown use to the smell of hospitals, despite the fact that I'd been there plenty of times before. It was a smell, I believe, that always had an off setting feeling to it, and it made being comfortable impossible.

I continued to wait patiently, yet I was slowly losing my patience. This was one reason why I hated the emergency room; waiting for the doctor was always intolerable as they seemed to take all the time in the world to get to you.

Soon I was able to pick up on the faint echo of footsteps in the hallway. I sighed in relief that I'd be able to find out what's wrong with my leg and head out of here. I listened to the footsteps become louder and clearer, and when they got close enough, the door to my room flew open.

My heart stopped.

The doctor walked in with a welcoming smile on his face, in which I'd nervously returned.

"Good afternoon Mrs... Platt?" He questioned with his golden eyes looking up from his clipboard.

I nodded stupidly.

"Pleased to meet you, young lady. I am Dr. Cullen." He greeted, his voice was silvery and soft like silk. It was spellbinding.

"Pleasure to meet you, doctor." I silently cursed to myself for my tight sounding voice. The doctor was... charming. The most handsome man I'd ever laid eyes on.

I shook away the thought.

"So the problem seems to be your leg," Dr. Cullen tucked his board under his arm and looked down at my leg. Immediately he frowned upon it.

"Uh- yes. I, um, fell out of a tree." I said and mustered out a nervous laugh. The way I sentenced my words made my accident sound ludicrous.

"Did you now? Well with that being said, does it hurt at all?" He questioned.

I shook my head, watching as a piece of his blond hair fell over his golden eyes. "The nurse gave me a fair amount of medicine. It seems to be she completely numbed out the pain."

"Ah, well that's good," the doctor said while examining my bruised and swollen limb, gently prodding it. "So what exactly were you doing up in a tree? Just wondering."

My eyes quickly looked up into his curious ones, and hesitated to tell him as it was embarrassing. "I, uh, I'm not quite sure. I guess because it's fun?" It was true, really. As a young girl I was quite occupied by climbing the trees in my backyard. Mama would tell me not to, but I refused to obey.

The doctor chuckled lightly. "I don't blame you. It's unfortunate you fell down."

"Yes, it is. But once I get better I'm going to do it again." I firmly nodded my head with a proud smile. I probably looked like a fool to him.

His eyes twinkled in amusement, nonetheless. "Just be careful next time. You've clearly broken your femur bone, which will put you in a cast for about six weeks or so, I'm sorry to say."

I watched as his golden irises flicked towards the book by my side.

"What exactly are you reading there, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Oh, uh, the Great Expectations." I simply said, picking up the worn novel and placing it on my lap.

Dr. Cullen's eyes lit up with interest. "Charles Dickens? Ah! How is it?"

"It's rather dark, I should say. It has a very gothic tone to it." I paused for a moment to think. "I like it."

"Not many can say that about his work, especially around your age group." The doctor states while he made his way to a cabinet to grab some cast material.

"I know, but I'm not like those in my age group. I either act younger or older." I shrugged my shoulders as if not caring, which I really didn't.

"I can see that clearly. You climb trees and you read Charles Dickens for pleasure. I find that fascinating." His lips were quirked up in a large smile as if he really were fascinated by my strange nature.

The rest of the while went by too quickly. Dr. Cullen wrapped up my leg in this ridiculously thick cast, and we continued to talk about Charles Dickens and other great writers we were so fond of. I'd concluded that he was also a big reader, which I immediately appreciated. The man was young, too. I was thinking about early twenties, which is very impressive as he is already one of the best doctors around.

He left as soon as he came, though. Leaving me alone in the sterile room. The world never seemed more silenced than it was after the doctor left. Our laughs and voices which were just ringing through the walls seemed nonexistent, as if they never happened. I couldn't help but want to talk to him more. See his face one more time. Look into his deep, and sincere irises of honey. It was only until Dr. Cullen was gone to figure out how comforting and enjoyable his presence was.

I missed him.

And I still can't figure out how that could be. I barely knew the man, but that didn't seem to matter. I missed him like he was a close friend moving away. My heart literally ached as if he took a piece of it with him as he was going.

I unwillingly went home, thinking that if I'd stay in the hospital a bit longer my chances of seeing Dr. Cullen would grow. But father had work to tend to, so I had to leave with him. I barely ate nor did I sleep much when I arrived at home; too upset to bother. My mind would not let me be; bringing up thoughts and moments of being in the presence of my doctor. It was surprisingly overwhelming, and my heart pitter-pattered. When I thought about the brief moments with him, a large smile grew on my face out of the random. My family thought it was odd, but let it go as they thought I was drugged up from the medicine. I also couldn't help but feel that this world seemed like nothingness without being around him. That may sound pathetic, or over dramatic. But it was true. And you simply can not hide from the truth. The truth for me was that I had deep feelings for that man, but I was not willing to admit it to others nor myself.

So I stayed quiet.

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 **Whew, that was long ':) Hope you all enjoyed it! Please let me know how it was so the next chapter can be better! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Reviews will be greatly appreciated!*hint hint* *nudge nudge* Also... is it just me or is Carlisle just super hot? Lucky Esme! Enjoy! :)**

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"Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye." -H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Chapter Two

 _Five months later..._

The world that surrounded me was full of semi-cloudy skies, chirping birds, and autumn foliage. Everything seemed perfect; a wonderful fall day to read a good book in the park. The air was crisp and cool as the breeze gently kissed my rosy cheeks. I only sometimes looked up from my book to take in the warm autumn colors; oranges, yellows, reds, and browns with every shade in between.

Oh how I loved the season of fall. To me nothing was better than putting on a light coat and taking a stroll through the park, which was not very crowded around this time. But I greeted the few passer-byers with a warm smile and wished them a good afternoon, and they politely returned the gesture with their own winning smiles.

I sat on an old bench; the one I always sat on when I visited the park. My nose, of course, was deep into the pages of a novel which I'd randomly plucked from my personal bookshelf. I was so occupied reading the pages that I'd barely taken notice to those around me.

"Well you look oddly familiar,"

The voice was sudden, close, and strangely familiar. I looked up quickly, quite startled from the out-of-the-blue talking. The sun was shining behind the figure, blinding my vision, but eventually I was able to make out the identity of the man who stood before me.

"Oh... yeah, um. You do too actually," I said awkwardly, too flustered and surprised to form a proper sentence. It took me two seconds too long to figure out that it was Dr. Cullen, my doctor from a while ago.

He chuckled and flicked his eyes towards the empty spot beside me on the bench. "Mind if I sit?"

Still taken off guard, I nodded like an idiot. "Uh- y-es, please do," I scooched over a bit, which was pretty unnecessary as there was plenty of room for him to sit. Then I awkwardly patted on the spot that was next to me.

"Seems to me that you haven't changed much, have you?" He asked while taking his seat.

"What is that suppose to mean?" I turned my head towards him, not sure if that were to be an insult or a compliment.

"Don't be offended. That's a good thing," he pointed out, his honey-colored eyes twinkled with delight, and they still didn't fail to send shivers up my spine.

I tried my damned hardest not to blush, but I was sure that my cheeks were as red as the surrounding trees. "Well being that it's only been a few months, I wouldn't think much would change about a person."

"Perhaps not, but I've seen it happen in other people. Not very fortunate, in most cases." He shrugs his shoulders.

"Drugs?" I simply said.

The man shrugged silently as if he were going back to foul memories. His fist lie over his lips while he seemed to dig deeply through his thoughts.

"Well I can assure you, doctor, that I am not any drugs nor any other toxicities." I nodded my head to confirm my honesty.

The doctor looks up at me and a small smile forms on his thin lips behind his fist. The smile I haven't seen in so long. "I wouldn't have thought so."

"Say, I believe calling you 'doctor' is a tad... off, I should say when I'm speaking to you in general. Perhaps you can tell me your first name?" I asked curiously, feeling that calling him by such a professional title in public was rather peculiar.

"So glad you've asked," he straightened himself up. "Being that we can consider us two friends now, please do call me Carlisle."

"Carlisle." I repeated with an absent mind. His name was even more spellbinding; the title fitted him perfectly. "I like that."

"And I like your's even better," he said as he was standing up. Casually, he put one arm behind his back and extended his hand out towards me. "May I have this stroll with you, Mrs. Esme?"

By then, I was blushing like crazy. I even vaguely remember that I was shaking with anticipation and excitement and nervousness. I was a girl overloading with different emotions that I could barely contain myself!

I reached out my own trembling hand to his, and he gently pulled me up from the bench with a surprisingly cold grasp. I gasped, and pulled my hand away.

"Are you alright?" Carlisle asked, his eyes quickly filling up with concern and... fear?

I nodded, rubbing my hand to get its warmth back. "Yes, I'm fine. Sorry."

I was ready to slap myself in the face by acting like a crazy person. I could've sworn he thought I was some crazy lunatic. But why on earth was his hand so frigid? It was like ice- colder than ice, even.

Carlisle looked up at the sky, his eyes reading over the pinks and purples and blues that were created by the setting sun. I hadn't even realized how late it was getting. Carlisle looked down at his wristwatch.

"Five-forty-eight," he said out loud. "Goodness, already?"

"Well its fall now which'll bring short days, unfortunately." I pointed out.

He looked down at me with a small yet delighted smile playing on his lips. "Indeed it is."

We walked through the park side by side, admiring the colors of October and breathing in the aroma of autumn leaves. The sun was just setting behind the park's hundreds of trees, creating more comforting colors. Too mesmerized by nature's beauty, I hadn't even realized the loud pounding of my heart, and the sweating of my palms, and the energy that burned through my veins. Being around this man whom I just found out was named Carlisle gave me the worst and sickening case of the butterflies, and I'm still not sure whether that was a good thing or not. Throughout our stroll we stood shoulder to shoulder- or in reality, stood shoulder to forearm due to my shortness.

Yet I could still feel the peculiar coldness of his touch burning through my clothing when his arm lightly collided with mine. I tried not to ponder too much upon it, and shook away the thoughts.

Unfortunately the fine evening was not long enough. It was fall after all, and fall shall bring shorting days. I barely slept that night; no amount of sheep counting would put me to rest as Carlisle's golden eyes always found their way into my mind. It was a pleasant thought, nonetheless annoying as I would've liked to have gotten some rest. I longed for his strangely cold touch and his signature smile that always seemed to be playing on his lips.

Then I started questioning my feelings for this man. Was it a temporary crush or was it the real deal? Could I have possibly fallen in love with a man I've only met briefly one time before? But if I was in love with him, I wouldn't had been surprised. I'd had plenty of school crushes before, but my feelings for those boys were nothing compared to the ones I had for Carlisle. It was much deeper, personal, and special I guess. Perhaps it was his gentle eyes, intelligent talk, or charming personality. Or perhaps it was all of the above. But there was something about Carlisle- as mysterious as he is- that made me want to speak to him again. And I could only pray that God would make my passed day repeat itself. My only next question was when I could see him again.

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